There’s a reason why people talk about relationships being “work” – it’s because they are! But some relationships are more work than others, and if you find yourself in one that’s got you asking “should we break up?”, it’s definitely time to reassess.
Sit down and make up a list of pros and cons (it’s good to see all the reasons you work and all the reasons that you don’t). Tell your partner to make a list of his/her own, and when you’ve both finished come back to one another and talk out your feelings. BE HONEST.
Do you fight with each other constantly? Are you the kind of couple that breaks up and makes up every 5 minutes? Was someone unfaithful? Are there jealousy issues? Is she too controlling?
Whatever the problems are in your relationship, you’ll both need to figure out if you can work them out or if they’ve damaged you completely. Asking the “should we break up?” question requires some real thought from both people – and often signals that it may be time to break away.
The best thing to do is to imagine a future with your partner, taking into consideration the flaws that drive you crazy in the present moment. If she’s a total control freak now, what will happen when you go to buy a home together? Or have kids? Are you comfortable dealing with that behaviour forever? Maybe he tries to end the relationship every other week which leaves you feeling abandoned – what happens when you’ve invested a decade’s worth of time in this man, only to be left in the end because he “can’t deal”?
It’s time to make some big decisions and the best way to go about it is to be honest with yourself. Perhaps this is just a speed bump in a long love story. If you’re both willing to make change and talk your stuff out, then it just might end up working. But if you can’t get to that point, or you just don’t really want to then remember – breaking up is totally ok! Don’t feel obligated to stay in something just because you’ve been dating for a while.
Being in love and being with someone who loves you should make you feel happy (more often than not), and if your current situation doesn’t then end it. Period.