Deciding to start an open relationship with your partner is a HUGE decision, and one that should definitely not be taken lightly! Whether you’re the one who suggested going open or your lover brought it to the table, make sure you really understand what you’re getting yourselves into – or you could end up in a seriously sucky situation.
Are you cool with him going on dates?
Remember this thing is open, for both of you. If you get to go out with other men then you better be ok with your man dating other women. If you’re the jealous type this could be a severe issue…and even if you’re not, are you prepared for the nights that you’re alone at home while he wines and dines somebody else?
What are the sex boundaries?
You and your partner should definitely be clear about the definition of open. If it means that you can have sex with other people, make sure you define how far you’re allowed to go. Again, you might be able to have fun with someone new, but so does he! Be certain that you won’t have a problem with him being intimate with another person; if you aren’t ok with it then you should really think about whether an open relationship is the right call.
Are you comfortable telling your friends/family?
“Sorry Mom, he couldn’t make it tonight because he’s on a date with someone else.” Ready for that conversation? Ok, so maybe you’re not planning on telling the fam, but your friends should probably be given a heads up. Imagine they see you out with other people and think that someone’s cheating? A few are going to have to be let in on this new relationship dynamic. Ask yourself if you’re OK with having those chats with them.
What’s the REAL deal?
Be honest with yourself and your partner about this idea. Do you want to get into an open relationship because you’re bored of the one you’re currently in? Is the goal to just bang new people without consequence? Are you going along with this because you see how much it means to your significant other? The most important thing for you to ask yourself is – WHY DO I WANT TO DO THIS? If you truly think this will make your relationship better, then power to you. But if you’re trying to escape some other issue, you both might be in for a world of hurt.