Never have a disastrous argument again! Debating in a relationship is a healthy means of keeping the spark alive. By engaging in a civil disagreement with your partner once in a while can help provide mental stimulation and it also shows how the two of you can tolerate and live with each other’s clashing values. Here are 5 relationship rules to follow when having a healthy debate.
Rule #1: Keep it Out of the Bedroom
Best Health Magazine suggests that your shared bedroom is never a good place to have an argument. It should be a safe and argument-free zone when the two of you need to hash it out. Even the healthiest of arguments can get a little heated and bringing that negative energy into the room will leave you drained after a night of sleep.
Rule #2: Get in Sync
If the two of you aren’t on the same page in regards to the argument, you’re never going to get to the end. Live Happy lists this as one of their rules to a healthy relationship argument. “Empathy,” they say, should be the main focus of any healthy debate. You and your partner are more likely to remain on the same topic and keep from straying if you mirror your partner’s small movements. By showing them that you pay attention to them through body language, these small copycat movements can help your partner feel more at ease and can increase their connection to you as you go about your debate.
Rule #3: Respect
Psychology Today emphasizes that mutual respect is the key to a happy and healthy relationship. Having mutual respect doesn’t mean you have to be happy with everything your partner does. Any form of verbal, physical or emotional abuse contributes to the fall of any relationship. So when having an argument in your relationship, refrain from calling them names, hitting them, or manipulating their emotions to win the argument.
Rule #4: Ask Questions
Asking questions for clarification, can not only benefit you, but benefit your partner as well. By questioning or asking them to repeat something they said, shows that you are paying attention to what they say and value what they have to contribute to the argument.
Dr.Chuck and Dr.Jo-Ann Bird, certified relationship counsellors, say that questioning leads to a better understanding of how certain individuals think the way they do and while no relationship is perfect, understanding each other is key to having healthy relationship debates.
Rule #5: Stay Positive
Live Happy goes on to say that capitalizing on the positive is the best way to settle an argument…before it even begins! More often than not, we start to take our partners for granted the deeper we get into a relationship. Because we’re so used to them, the small positive things such as getting a great haircut or even big changes such as having a great game with your baseball, can be overlooked. Ignoring the positivity of these events, no matter how small, can spark the biggest argument. By capitalizing on your partner’s positive events in life and allowing them to celebrate who they are with you makes you more likely to have healthier debates. The less you have to fight about, the less you’ll stray from the argument topic.